Intimacy in Therapy

By Aiala

At the beginning of my career as an Art Therapist, I found it easier to follow the traditional approach of psycho-dynamic orientation, where art making is used as a good way to communicate with the subconscious mind, while working within a traditional psychoanalytic approach (basically is talking about the art project and/or analyzing it). 

As therapists, we are tempted many times to “discuss” or talk with our patients about what is bothering them. Talking is a cover to avoid real intimacy. Words protect us. They are an amazing shield that helps us cover our deepest emotions and feelings.

To be honest, I felt a bit apprehensive about the Art as Therapy approach. I am convinced that Art making is beneficial on its own; there is enough clarity about the process to go along with it, and there is no need for psychoanalytical interpretations. The doing itself is the therapy. Still, I realized something inside of me feared this intimacy, and even didn't completely trust the process. It was a very curious phenomenon: I didn't mind stringing along with my patients while it was their process, but when it was my turn to be patient in my own therapy, I just couldn't let myself give in into the process. A side of me feared that, in case of a complete devotion, the doing itself, that total "being" with the wound would be catastrophic and I wouldn't survive it. I also realized that part of the conflict steamed from the fact that it wasn't just me and the art alone, but there was a third party standing there (the therapist), as a witness of my process, and I felt very vulnerable and exposed, which led to a feeling of shame. 

Only then I realized that the fact that someone else than me would know about my faults made me feel insecure. This was a funny thing to me, especially since I keep reassuring my patients that no one is perfect etc. And I make a tremendous effort every time not to be judgmental – not only with my patients – but with any human being.  I have suggested many times the Jungian idea of meeting our shadow in order to promote integration of the whole self, leading us to a profound and complete acceptance and love for our beings. But easier said than done.  

The bottom line is that only after going through the Art as Therapy experience myself, I learnt how to be more careful with other people’s need for space and intimacy. Witnessing a patient’s art making process is as witnessing a person getting undress for a medical examination. The practitioner should be super careful to respect and watch after the patient’s need for dignity and intimacy, and should be more careful not to expose him in any embarrassing way. People’s need for intimacy is sometimes misunderstood as a lack of trust in us, but that is an incorrect idea. And the need or desire for violating someone else’s intimacy or privacy should be a red light on our personal boundaries.