Dealing with Frustration

By Aiala

Frustration and anger are fundamental emotions that everyone experiences from time to
 time. From a very early age, people learn to express frustration by copying the behavior they see modeled around them, and by expressing frustration and angry behavior and seeing what they can get away with. Frustration is an emotion that occurs in situations where a person is blocked from reaching a desired outcome.  In general, whenever we reach one of our goals, we feel pleased and whenever we are prevented from reaching our goals, we may succumb to frustration and feel irritable, annoyed and angry. Typically, the more important the goal, the greater the frustration and resultant anger or loss of confidence.


Frustration is not necessarily bad since it can be a useful indicator of the problems in a person's life and, as a result, it can act as a motivator to change.  
However, when it results in anger, irritability, stress, resentment, depression, or a spiral downward where we have a feeling of resignation or giving up, frustration can be destructive. According to Adler[i], An inferiority complex due to a poor capability to deal with frustration can lead to pessimistic resignation and an assumed inability to overcome difficulties.

The frustration we experience can be seen as the result of two types of goal blockage, i.e. internal and external sources of frustration.
Internal sources of frustration usually involve the disappointment that get when we cannot have what we want as a result of personal real or imagined deficiencies such as a lack of confidence or fear of social situations.  Another type of internal frustration results when a person has competing goals that interfere with one another.

The second type of frustration results from external causes that involve conditions outside the person such as physical roadblocks we encounter in life including other people and things that get in the way of our goals.  One of the biggest sources of frustration in today's world is  the frustration caused by the perception of wasting time. When you're standing in line at a bank, or in traffic, or on the phone, watching your day go by when you have got so much to do, that's one big frustration.

External frustration may be unavoidable. We can try to do something about it, like finding a different route if we are stuck in traffic, or choosing a different restaurant if our first choice is closed, but sometimes there is just nothing we can do about it.  It is just the way life is.  Our goal in dealing with external sources of frustration is to recognize the wisdom of the the Serenity Prayer..."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." 
One can learn that while the situation itself may be upsetting and frustrating, you do not have to be frustrated.  Accepting life is one of the secrets of avoiding frustration.
We all suffer from frustration, and being able to effectively deal with frustration is a very important skill to develop. Each person needs to learn how to control frustration, so that it does not control them.

Art Therapy can be a great help for dealing with frustration. We can express it through colors, textures, modeling or any kind of intervention that might help us "spill out" our uneasy feelings. If Art Therapy is applied as "Art as Therapy", then we should feel better or a bit more released just by the act of doing, or "being". If a psycho-dynamic Art Therapy stream is preferred, you might find  that holding a dialogue with your art project, and trying to recognize these feelings in prior life experiences (as for finding the root that triggered such a reaction) are also of great help. 

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[i] 'Classical Adlerian Individual Psychology: Alfred Adler's Original Approach'